Sunday, July 31, 2005

I hate spiders

I really do. I think they are creepy. In my humble opinion, eight legs is just too many for one body. Don't even get me started on centipedes.

Last night, I was cleaning up some stuff in the dining room and my eye caught a very large spider on our sliding glass door. At first I couldn't tell whether it was inside or outside, so I kind of freaked out. Luckily Dan was downstairs, so he couldn't make fun of my jump. Once I was confident that it was, indeed, outside, I became rather fascinated. This thing was big. Well, for me. Don't go telling me stories of the biggest spiders you've ever seen. I've witnessed my fair share in Haiti, but I've tried to block those from my memory as much as possible. Anyway, the spider last night was big. The body alone was probably the size of a large bean. Except it wasn't really shaped like a bean. Work with me. With the legs, the total size was probably an inch and a half across. Okay, now that I'm describing it, this thing doesn't sound that big. Please don't make fun of me. I think when it moves it just seems THAT MUCH BIGGER.

Anyway, as I watching this MASSIVE thing move, it became clear that it was spinning a web. A big web. I couldn't see the actual web in the dark last night, but you could just tell this spider was hard at work. My mind shifted to the famed spider Charlotte, and I almost expected to see "SOME PIG" scrawled across its work. But I didn't. So I went to bed.

This morning, as I grabbed something off the dining room table, I was reminded of my little friend and went to check out the finished product. It was amazing! And huge! Still no "TERRIFIC" written anywhere, but quite impressive nonetheless. There were even some small bugs caught in the web; some snacks for the spider to enjoy later. That might be fun to watch too.

I'm not going to lie--I'm definitely not dying to get outside on my deck anytime soon. I couldn't spot the spider while I admired the web. That means it could be anywhere. It means it could be waiting for the sliding door to open so it can descend onto the first head that exits to the outdoors. Now that's a pleasant thought.

I'll be enjoying the inside of my air conditioned house this fine Sunday, thank you.


Danb said...

please don't talk about spiders decending from on high... you and i both know that i've had horrible experiences with that! =) but yes this spider was huge... Love ya!

jeffmacsimus said...

Your unique brand of primal phobic hysteria, literary acumen, and intense curiosity had me laughing to tears. You rule!

Joy said...

There are few things worse than a spider! There is a family story about spiders and your me girl... Joy

gloria said...

Oh! unexpected wonder and delight! A strange gift!