Monday, September 12, 2005

Picture painting

I'm a big fan of Sara Groves, and every once in a while I get in a "painting pictures of Egypt" mood. I've been in that mood lately, and I'm not sure why. Where the future seems like a hard place to be, and you make the past seem better than it actually was in an effort to justify going back. Anyway, I'm sharing the lyrics below.

But first, some exciting news. Sara is starting a tour in October with Jars of Clay, Chris Rice, and Donald Miller, amazing author of Blue Like Jazz. You can learn more at saragroves.com.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don't want to leave here
I don't want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend

It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the promise
And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes to quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

I love "it wasn't milk or honey, but then neither is this." It's like coming to the realization that the past really wasn't good enough to do all over again, but being stuck where the present/future don't seem like a comfortable place to be either.

I'm just thankful that although I don't know what the future holds, I know who holds the future. He hold me too.

4 comments:

-Lisa- said...

Wow, I can totally relate to that right now. Especially with things in the Youth Ministry. I know that things were definitely not perfect when we were in it or even as little as 4 years ago, but it's hard to let go of the way you remembered it being.

But, I am excited about where it's going, even though I feel like nobody cares about the past besides me.

julie said...

i have always loved this song... a good reminder for me, because i tend to paint...

gloria said...

"The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the promise
And the things I know...

But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned"

It feels like a large gift, a knowing, when someone else can put into words what my own heart is experiencing.
To Sara and to Erin, thank you.
To God, your timing is hilarious. How do you do that?

Jan said...

Cheers once again to liminal space named with poetic utterance. Thanks for sharing. The song names my life experience right now.