Molly Bears

Shortly after Hannah died, I heard of a ministry called Molly Bears. They make weighted teddy bears for people who have lost babies (to weigh as much as your baby did). Their waiting list is opened up once a month, so I signed up at the end of November to request a Hannah bear. At number 1628 on the waiting list, I knew it would be a while (the waiting list is sadly up to over 4000). So I waited patiently until a few friends got their bears recently because I knew I wasn't too far behind them. And sure enough, earlier this week, I got an email notification that mine had shipped!

The really amazing part is that when we lost Charlie, I emailed them to ask if there was any way to add to my "order" rather than adding another bear to the end of the waiting list. Within minutes, they emailed back to say they'd be able to add a Charlie bear to our Hannah bear, who was already in production.

This morning, I happened to check the tracking number they gave me, and it said "out for delivery." And I didn't even care when the mail carrier banged on our door and woke Leah up. :) I sneaked the box into our bedroom to open it alone. The first thing I noticed was that the bears matched. Clearly one girl and one boy, but they were family. And although my babies were not meant for life on this earth, they are brother and sister, and it's only fitting that they should look like it. The second thing I noticed, as I lifted the Hannah bear out of the box, was how heavy 14 ounces felt. I remember Hannah feeling very light (after having nine and a half pound babies, anything would have felt light), and I assumed my Hannah bear would just feel like a normal teddy bear and wouldn't require much of whatever they use for weighting the bears. But there is a significant weight to her, and I love it.

Here are my babies! ♥

What Molly Bears does is so amazing, and they do it as volunteers of a non-profit. If you are at all interested in donating or learning more, please visit their website.