Monday, December 10, 2012


Some dates are so significant. And sometimes I hate that. It's one thing if the date is a birthday or anniversary--a happy event. But when it's the anniversary of your baby's death, or the due date of a baby who didn't make it, then dates kind of suck.

Today is a significant date for two reasons. First, it is six months since I miscarried Charlie. And second, today should have been Charlie's due date. Double whammy. Just another chapter in the book of Things Are Not the Way They Should Be

And subsequent loss is such a tricky thing. Because beyond the emotions of missing Charlie and wishing I really was 40 weeks pregnant, there is this counterpart that says, "There should never have been a Charlie! Hannah should be here, and she should be 9 months old." But she's not. So there was a Charlie. And now there's not.

Christmas butterflies courtesy of Carly Marie.


Beth said...

I'm so sorry! What a double whammy of a day. :(

RaeAnne said...

Thinking of you today, dear <3. I'm so sorry they are not here with you today and every day.

Gale Fitts said...

I found your blog and read your post. Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your precious baby. I do understnad as I loss my son and later my only daughter to stillbirth.