true story

Peace

Delight yourselves in the Lord
Yes, and find your joy in Him
Be known for your gentleness
And never forget the nearness of our God
And don't worry - whatever is going to come
Just tell God every detail
And the peace of God that no one understands will come to you
No, don't worry
Just tell Him every detail and His peace will come to you

Living with Hope

So much easier said than done, but how I LONG to live with hope.

"Optimism and hope are radically different attitudes. Optimism is the expectation that things--the weather, human relationships, the economy, the political situation, and so on--will get better. Hope is the trust that God will fulfill God's promises to us in a way that leads us to true freedom. The optimist speaks about concrete changes in the future. The person of hope lives in the moment with the knowledge and trust that all of life is in good hands.
All the great spiritual leaders in history were people of hope. Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Jesus, Rumi, Gandhi, and Dorothy Day all lived with a promise in their hearts that guided them toward the future without the need to know exactly what it would look like. Let's live with hope."

Henri Nouwen

It's all she'll ever know

I was driving last night, listening to "Glory Baby" (aka, my Hannah Song), and the bridge made me almost have to pull the car over.

I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know

Shortly after we lost Hannah, someone who had experienced pregnancy loss told us something that was comforting to her was knowing that her babies would never know the pain of this world. All Hannah will ever know is heaven! For selfish reasons, I wish she could have knows just a little bit of time on this earth so I could really KNOW her. But I WILL know her completely someday. :)

2 months

I actually didn't even realize it until I was getting Leah down for a nap and couldn't even get through "Sunshine" without crying. Then the date popped into my head and I kind of lost it.
"What happened, Mommy?"
"Mommy's sad."
I lay down with her for a while and she took my hand and held it and then played with the tears dropping from my face onto her pillow.

We got a lovely package from a couple on Fergus Falls, and in it is a book called "The One Year Book of Hope." One of the first entries is called "Your Tears Matter to God." Thank goodness.
Ps 56:8 "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."

Miss you, sweet girl.

All Things New

Happy 2012! Today has felt like the most decent day in a while. Maybe it's the feeling of a new beginning in a new year. Maybe it was the fact that the kids slept until 9:00. :)
I was driving this afternoon (which was dumb because it was SO windy) and listening to a Watermark CD that I got from a friend for Christmas. The first song was one I had heard before, but like so many other things since we've lost Hannah, it sounded new. I can't find a video or recording to share, but here are the lyrics.

All Things New
Blue skies that take me back to being a child
Trees with leaves that turn the colors I love
A heart that's beating to Your melodies ringing
And I am a miracle 'cause heaven is a part of me
And You are the song that I'm singing

I was created to love You
I was created to need You
I was created to know You
And I am a miracle 'cause heaven is a part of me
And You are the air that I'm breathin'

Because of who You are and who I am in you
You make all things pure
Because of who You are and who I am in You
You make all things true
You make all things new

And I'm so thankful for this life that I know
That I am no longer what I was
Because of Your love
And the beauty of the cross
I can see Your work in me
All things new
All things new in me
All things ne
All things new in me